I will never understand your actons
It’s been another few weeks since I last put down my feelings though I think about you and how I am going to live a happy life without you.
I cannot make any sense or reasoning behind your rapid change of heart and actions. I know that you would have made me the happiest man alive if we got to live our life together forever. I know that I would have made you the happiest woman alive if you didn’t let go of our hope and love. I know how happy that you were when we were together, yet we never got to experience being together unconditionally. So I know that we would have been perfect together and had the greatests of lifes if we had that chance. I cannot understand why you didn’t hold on for a little bit longer before you decided that I wouldn’t live up to my promises as we had planned.
I will never hate you, as I cannot ever feel hate for the one person that I have felt eternal love for. But I will never forgive you for pulling me back into your heart in April after I had painfully thought I had lost you then. You gave me hope and love to continue working towards our goal of being together. You gave me a reason to wake up with plans of a future together. Then somewhere along the path from that moment, you decided to move on and leave me with his dream, without even telling me, without even explaining to me, without even giving me any compassion. You have been the greatest love of my life and I don’t ever expect to replace that love again. But you have also been the most vicious and thoughtless person who has inflicted the greatest pain in my heart in me life. I find a conflict in my heart where I want to hope we will cross paths again one day, but on the other hand I want you to feel the pain that I have. I think karma may be your downfall, as what goes around, comes around. I hope if one day you realis your mistake and how much you truly do love me, that I can somehow forgive you for what you have done. Only time will tell.
sometimes it takes years for someone to recognize the vicious in their actions and some people never see it — but it sounds like you loved someone capable of imagining redemption for you and perhaps for herself. i hope time will bring you peace. its a beautiful post that I can only, unfortunately perhaps, relate to from both perspectives.